A debate on the possibility of a serial (RPF Smut Crew)

[guardiansverse]

"All I will say is," Yohann stressed, thrusting a finger up into the mist of alcohol fumes drifting between the four of them round the table, "it's already a given that he was, is, is being, intimate with two Land's Own Guardians. A third is hardly a stretch."

"Yes, but not Frowe Vandavern," Lina countered. She shook her head. "Frowe Vandavern, she has - " a sketching gesture, cup and squeeze, "proclivities.

"Great big honking proclivities," crooned Lublin, face halfway inside his pint.

"It was the Adalans who gave him to her. Perhaps Davy Linde?"

In the corner, Madam Van Der Schpitz cleared her throat. "Lina, dear girl. We want to sell smut, not start another war."

"I am a loyal guest of His Majesty the Kaiser," Yohann said automatically. The weeks since Ranna Vandavern's diplomatic visit had been trying. Then he took another sip, and added, "But Davy Linde has the most remarkable back end."

"Frowe Kiriska, in Betairun," said Lublin, surfacing like a beaching whale. "Last time she visited, breasts like snowglobes, I swear, lush like, like one of those Betairish forests..."

"Betairish forests are needled evergreens," the Madam pointed out. "And Frowe Kiriska is eighty years old."

"Best-preserved eighty years old I ever..."

"If it's East we're headed, might as well be creative," Yohann mused. "They say out in the Dzirinian Steppes, some tribes still have a Guardian of the Horses."

Lina blinked. "In a smut pamphlet?"

Said the Madam: "It's good for a business to diversify."

"Can't we start with the eighty years old?"

"Picture it as a travelogue." Yohann was swiftly warming up to the idea, though being already warm from a bellyful of excellent Hyemi wine most likely helped. "Having tasted the ultimate prize of Hyem, our bold explorer journeys across the continent and beyond, seeking to test the mightiest, the hardest to conquer amongst the nations..."

Lina and the Madam exchanged glances. Lublin was busy giggling to himself, whispering over and over again, the hardest...

"No," said the Madam.

"I'd read it," insisted Lina.

"Absolutely not."

"Don't you trust me in matters of public taste?"

"With my money. Not with my life. Publishing just one page of this would end in a dozen diplomatic incidents."

"But the concept has such potential. The Rogue Guardian's Harem. We could serialize - "

"When you find out how to do so without starting a world-wide war," the Madam said, sitting back with a raised glass, "I shall consider it."

Lina looked back to Yohann. It was the look of rising to a challenge.